After reading Shirley’s response about these three different essays, I find out some similarities and also some differences.
The similarities are:
- Based on the first essay she mentions that inequality is becoming a threat to the United States and the frustration that people are facing is rooted deeply in their lives.
- Based on the second essay she mentioned the direct relationship between social inequality and selling of painkillers.
- We both agreed on which social inequality is not only cause physical pain, but also psychological pain.
The differences are:
- One of the points that she mentioned that is the relationship between economical inequality and increasing in crime rates.
- I mentioned how these painkillers are affecting the well being and how people feel no control over their lives.
Essay 2 Feedback:
One of the problems in my essay was the length of the paragraphs and it’s better to break the paragraphs for better understanding and organization just by using the key ideas of two different essays. He gave me a feedback to shorten my paragraphs. According to American Academic writing, it’s better to start by addressing the article and trying to shorten the paragraphs.
Another comment that I got for this essay was about adding a synthesis part and analyzing paragraphs and main ideas by bringing different ideas of two different authors and analyze them and come up with a better conclusion.
After reading Karina’s response about the article I found a few similarities:
- We both talked about how limited his sources was because he was living in a small village.
- Another thing that we both realized about him and his family was the importance of the education and how her mom wanted to her children study.
- We both talked about his passion in learning English.
- We talked about how he never seen a computer before and after going to the U.S. to study at Michigan Technological University, he had the opportunities to learn and work with computers.
- One of the bullet points that Karina talked about was his positive energy and his optimistic attitude which helped him to be successful.
- I mentioned that, he talks at the end about how technology wasn’t evenly distributed and poorer villages and older people didn’t know how to use computers.
I read Shirley’s response and the similarities are:
- We both talked about economic condition and how people want to educate themselves.
- Students should look at the long term benefits.
- We both talked about sacrifices that students make by going to college and delay in their life planning.
- Another thing that we had in common is the importance of the education and the effect of it in individual and also society.
- We both agree that going to college can make the society better.
- One of the different opinion that I found is that I believe if someone wants to go to college, the tuition is the least important thing that they have to think about. I am not saying that tuition is not important but there is too many financial aids and scholarships. However her points is these problems depend on individuals.
Raha, Romeo, Shirley
School of Management:
- The first thing that we want to talk about the background of different majors.
- Images of possible major (on USF website)
- Interview a person that have a management degree.
School of Art and Sciences:
- The idea behind why did I choose bio as my major and different opportunities.
- interview different people
- Lab videos
Oct 29 – written script
Nov 1 – video essay draft in class
Nov 4 – edit the video
Nov 6 – video essay draft due on blog
Nov 13 – video essay due in draft
After reading “After Digital Storytelling: Video Composing in the New Media Age” by Megan Fulwiler and Kim Middleton, I realized the difficulties and challenges to make an effective audio essay. Some of the difficulties and challenges that we might encountered in the process of video filming were:
- They both “translate” the written script to video , however Candice have a clear idea about how to make her project but as she said, “It worked on paper, but not on film” (p.45).
- Another challenge that they both encounter was they couldn’t shift between different modalities such as sound and visual.
- Another challenge in making a digital video is having an interesting, compelling and effective story which can engage audience to watch the video.
- it’s important how to convert a written script to a digital video without changing the story or just translate the script into the video.
In Iran is a lot of pressure on students and their parents to study and get a degree from a good university in one of the STEM courses. However college tuition is more affordable and it’s not as high as here. The living situations and economic conditions lead people to think like that and ignore critical thinking because people need money and to earn money they need a job. Unfortunately there is no guarantee to get a job after graduating from college.
If I want to compare United States with my country there is to many differences and one similarity, the government wants to earn money by changing the economical conditions in a way that make colleges to ignore critical thinking and focus on getting good grades and a degree which can help them to get a job.
I think there should be a balance between them. Student needs to go to college and get a degree but also colleges need to teach them how to think critically not just getting good grades. Critical thinking is important but it’s not more important than education. However people needs to balance these two if they want to be successful in the future.
I like Amber Floyd’s article, her article “Dream Deferred” is about Dream Act which is not a law yet. She talks about the problems and issues of current immigration law and also mentions different points of views about this problem such as people who are against passing this law as well as people who wants Dream Act to be law and give a chance to the undocumented students who wants to get higher education in the U.S.
By bringing more counterclaims she make her essay more trustworthy because she is not just talking about her ideas which can lead into the confirmation bias, she is talking about broad range of ideas and how they can affect America.
People who are against this act believes that this act promotes unjust ideals. Duhita Mahatmya writes that, “the Act promotes the rights of children over their parents, discourages family stability and unity, and impacts family interdependence negatively”(184) . Which means separate family as a whole and it means that the family doesn’t deserve America’s support. However she also talks about students who are affected by the Dream Act were brought to America as a young children and they have been growing up here and consider themselves to be part of the American culture and some of them they are not even aware that they are undocumented. Kim explains that, “Under current immigration law, undocumented students’ academic accomplishments and lengths of residency in the United States do not justify their violation of immigration law and cannot be cited as mitigating factors during deportation proceedings”(186). Which means they it doesn’t matter how long students have been living here in the America they are not American and that makes it hard for them to go to the college and get a higher education because the tuition for Colleges and Universities are high and they don’ get any federal support because they are UNDOCUMENTED.
She also concludes with common values that are shared by both side such as people in both side all want the best for America and also she mentions that how all people deserve to be educated regardless of the citizenship status because these new generation will be leaders in the future and they would lead the world.
Floyd, A. (2014-2015). A “Dream” Deferred: An exploration of the scarlet title “Undocumented”. Writing for a Real World, 180-190.
Today being Bilingual would benefit us in many different ways, finding jobs, interacting with people from different countries and knowing about different cultures. People with different language have different perspectives and two people with different language have different understanding about same problems because each one of them see the problem in their own way.
According to the article “Language Personality in the Conditions of Cross-Cultural Communication: Case-Study Experience” by Davidovitch, Nitza; Khyhniak, Kateryna shows the problem of identification of a language personality’s traits under conditions of cross-cultural communication. The authors both mention in the article that,”It is possible to develop a new perspective on the heuristic possibilities of the concept of language personality to ensure the effectiveness of cross-cultural communications”(p.13). Which means we have more ways to communicate with people and can have a new perspective on a new concept of different language. However, we have to understand the culture and cultural codes. By developing a new perspective we change our personality from “mono” language personality to a “multi” language personality.
Davidovitch, N. & Khyhniak, K. (2018). Language Personality in the Conditions of Cross-Cultural Communication: Case-Study Experience. Retrieved from https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1167626.
My story is really about the reasons that force my family and I to move to the Unites States and the struggles I was and I am still facing such as new culture, new environment and new language. Moving from one country to another is one the most difficult challenges that people might experience in their life. I would like to share with you my experience as an immigrant and how I overcome the language barrier. I develop this idea because I think Migration was the most effective, emotional and also challenging experience in my life.
I think I need to indicate more conflicts or tensions and develop my story in a way that can be more effective. The particular learning experience that it offers to the audience is what difficulties people as an immigrant might experience and how they learn a new language. Learning English was the most difficult part but I think this may be my biggest achievement of all.