Based on the feedback I received on my second essay, I think most of the points that I lost this time is the APA citation and the skill to synthesize ideas together. In this essay, I didn’t do well in synthesizing ideas into a well powerful paragraph, instead of that, i separate two of the essays into independent paragraphs, which did not show my ability to synthesize ideas. Thus, in future writing, I will try to point out the common ideas from both of the essays and compose them by using compare and contrast in order to show the connection between the two essays.
For a better thesis, I have to come up with my personal opinion, what do I want to claim based on the information given in the essays. How do you think the essays are effective, and what can you address the ideas into today’s world.