April 19th In-class writing

Yarly

Verb tense

#1:

Original version:

For a long time,  my stepson, Jonathan, was unhappy to have me as part of his family, for he resents  that he didn’t have both biological parents at home. I try to get to know him better, but he would complain  that I invade his privacy. As a new corner, I understood that our relationship will require effort from both of us. It is not enough that I was friendly. Jonathan also has to want us to be friends, and I was not happy with the two of us being strangers, but I can wait for him to feel more comfortable around me.

Fixed version:

For a long time,  my stepson, Jonathan, was unhappy to have me as part of his family. For he resented  that he didn’t have both biological parents at home. I tried to get to know him better, but he would complain  that I invade his privacy. As a new corner, I understood that our relationship would require effort from both of us. I was not friendly enough for us. Jonathan also had to want us to be friends, and I was not happy with the two of us being strangers, but I could wait for him to feel more comfortable around me.

 

#2

Original version:

Anne Marie collects antique bottles and loved to turn them into works of art. She will buy bottles if she liked them, but she prefers to find them in the ground. She will find bottles everywhere, but she picked them selectively. However, she has the best lick at construction sites on old farmland, where she spent most of her time. Often, bottles appeared on the surface after a good rain, but they disappear very soon. She will use special tools for excavating bottles, including a set of brushes. She did not want to break the bottles as she removes them from the ground. After finding a new bottle, Anne Marie will add it to her display case and hung out the wall as an artistic piece (Mangelsdorf, 2013,P.411)

Fixed version:

Anne Marie collected antique bottles and loved to turn them into works of art. She would buy bottles if she liked them, but she preferred to find them in the ground. She would find bottles everywhere, but she picked them selectively. However, she had the best lick at construction sites on old farmland, where she spent most of her time. Often, bottles appeared on the surface after a good rain, but they disappeared very soon. She would use special tools for excavating bottles, including a set of brushes. She did not want to break the bottles as she removed them from the ground. After finding a new bottle, Anne Marie would add it to her display case and hung out the wall as an artistic piece (Mangelsdorf, 2013,P.411)

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Go to the Dogs:decline

Take the Bull by the Horns: not afraid and brave

Let the cat out of the Bag: maybe as same as water under bridge?

For the Birds: not suitable

Horse Around:hung out?

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