November Eighth: Essay Two Feedback

Paper feedback:

From the feedback I was given, some common patterns of writing-related issues in my writing are improper citation in the references page and lack of specificity and concrete examples. These are things I have struggled with in the past, but have been working on recently. For the future and my next draft, I will try to engage with the text I am using more and include two relevant quotes/examples for the thing I am trying to prove. I will also proofread my reference page before I turn in work. I usually just let a website generate my reference page and never look over it however, a reference page is just as important as the essay so I will be more diligent.



The person’s social media presence I chose to analysis is the new and upcoming rapper, Dababy. Taking a look at his Instagram it appears that he is very confident and braggadocious. In his bio on Instagram, he presumptuously refers to himself as a “living legend”. One can assume that he is confident in his talents as a rapper. In his videos and pictures that he posts, there are three different factors that are present in each one or all of them. One, he wears very extravagant and expensive jewelry and a diamond-encrusted grill. This alludes to the fact that he cares about his appearance and has money. An example of this is a picture he posted of him holding money in front of his face while wearing what appears to be very expensive jewelry and clothing. Two, he posts videos of him rapping and shows the crowd, who appears to be very engaged; or he promotes his achievements and projects he has coming out. This, again only further exemplifies his confidence in his talent as a rapper. The third factor is the goofy posts that show him as a very approachable and friendly person. Dababy has an overall good mix of these three factors that show him as a well rounded, personable, person.

October 25th Assignment

*I was absent*

Activity 1:
For a long time, my stepson, Jonathan, was unhappy to have me as part of his family, he resented that he did not have both biological parents at home. I tried to get to know him better, but he would complain that I invaded his privacy. As a newcomer, I understood that our relationship would require effort from both of us. It was not enough that I was friendly. Jonathan has wanted us to be friends, and I was not happy with the two of us being strangers, but I will wait for him to feel more comfortable around me.
Activity 2:
Anne Marie collects antique bottles and loved to turn them into works of art. She would buy bottles if she liked them, but she preferred to find them in the ground. She would find bottles everywhere, but she picked them selectively. However, she had the best luck at construction sites on old farmland, where she spent most of her time. Often, bottles appeared on the surface after a good rain, but they would disappear very soon after. She used special tools for excavating bottles, including a set of brushes. She did not want to break the bottles as she removed them from the ground. After finding a new bottle, Anne Marie added it to her display case and hung it on the wall as an artistic piece (Mangelsdorf, 2013, p. 411).

October 28th

  • strictly following a script can hinder one creativity
  • translating completely from an essay can be boring
  • video essays aren’t exactly the same as audio essays
  • something more specific I noticed is the intention of using visual, audio, and alphabetic text while creating a video composition

Pair share:

  • Mandy and I both agree that complete translating the text to video will not be efficient and rather boring.
  • Mandy and I differed on the topics of the script. I think that scripts aren’t as useful, however, she disagrees.

Questions for the interview:

  • what makes this program unique?
  • what kind of events does the politics program put on that benefits students?
  • what kind of opportunities are offered for students through this major?

10/21: In Class Response

Three main requirements the essay asks for is to do thorough research by interviewing a faculty member belonging to your major department,  using a scholarly article, and a book.

Three features that make this assignment specific is the use of images being presented (you have to record scenery), using voice and visual editing software, and use music as a tool to further portray the point being made.

In Class Assignment 10/16

1. My dog is not only friendly but also playful.
2. We can go to the park or dance in the classroom.
3. Jeremy likes to read historical, realistic and speculative fiction.
4. When I went to the bar, I danced, drank and punched someone.
5. Buying a car is not a decision to take lightly or carelessly.
6. Tyler is for the legalization, not criminalization of marijuana.
7. Sally needs a new stove, a dishwasher, and a set of knives for her kitchen.
8. My first-grade teacher taught me how to write, how to read and how to play tic-tac-toe.
9. She will not admit it, nor will she apologize.
10. The whole wheat pasta is better than the enriched wheat pasta.
11. Literature classes teach students to analyze texts, think critically, and improve writing.
12. Even though they are not in season, beets are just as nutrient-rich as rutabagas.
13. Drunk drivers are thoughtlessly taking the lives of other people in their own hands, risking their own lives, thinking only about their own pleasure and fun, and not considering the consequences of their actions.
14. In order to convey the information correctly, the police officer spoke loudly to the crowd, told people where they should stand, repeated the information to help people remember, and gestured.

In Class Writing: 10/11

The account I chose to look critically about is Harry Style’s Twitter account. After not having posted something in five months, which is a really long time through the lens of a social media consumer, he broke his silence just last week twetting the simple word, “Do”. Then just last night he tweeted in promotion of his new single that dropped that day. Along with tweeting, he also changes his cover and profile picture and his pinned tweet; two of which promote his new single. From not posting in five months to tweeting a cryptic two lettered word, Styles can be perceived as someone who is very secretive and strange. He never really posts about his opinions of personal life which someone can chalk up to him being a private person. Styles also doesn’t do a lot of interviews or is pictured out a lot which further exemplifies these claims. However, when Harry has posted in the past it has been in the form of gratitude. This year alone he tweeted at least five tweets of gratitude to his fans for supporting him. This is perceived to him being a grateful and thoughtful person who is very thankful for the position he has been put in due to his fas support, he doesn’t take them for granted. He also signs all of his personal tweets of gratitude and acknowledgment with “H”, meaning the ones that are not signed with “H” could be tweets produced by his team to promote his work. His social media, although barley used and cryptic only aids in the perception of Harry Styles being a thoughtful and caring person.

October 2nd: In Class Writing

Original Version:

Aye o le to yen o
Aye o ni double
Adura lo le se o
Call on daddy

Baba God

Translated Version:

Life is not enough

Life is double

Prayer can do it

Call on daddy

God God

I chose the song Ojuelegba by Wizkid. It’s a Nigerian song, in the Yoruba language, that talks about all the struggles the singer had to go through. In this particular part of the song, he is saying that during trying times his belief got him through it; he also offers this as advice to others. This translation was pretty accurate, but it’s very abrupt in its translation. It does not perfectly articulate the poetic lyrics. The first three lyrics are translated a little bit wrong, if one were to translate in a less literal sense it would be “Life is not that hard and there are no two ways to live life, only one, but if your life is sucky, prayer will get you through it”.  The ending where he says “Baba God” translates to “God God”. However, the phrase baba God is just like saying God is my father in a religious sense. Baba does not mean God, it is used as a respectful way to great your father; it’s like daying dad.

In Class Assignment: Will, Aboye & Scott (9/30)

  1. This is a constructed due to the CDC’s report that it’s about 28%, not 50%. However, that is for the United States so it may be true somewhere else.
  2. This is a constructed argument because of the word “suggest”. It is assuming something based on a test of DNA from a victims fingernail. However, there could be many reasons why a person’s DNA is under someone’s fingernail.
  3. This is a factual argument due to hard evidence. This topic is a common misconception that was debunked by the APA and many studies by psychologists and criminologists.
  4. This is more of a constructed argument. President Trump’s inauguration was not the largest on record due to written things and pictures.
  5. This is a constructed argument; it was said in a speech by President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Inauguration in 1933.


Yes, Kyoko found the information, but she didn’t mention where she got the information from.

Yes, even the whole class is using the same book, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to cite the sources you use.

Yes, he needs to talk to both professors in order to reuse the paper from a different class.

Yes, they should have double the material before submitting the project to avoid plagiarism.

Yes, even with paraphrasing you still have to cite the original source.


Yes, assuming that doesn’t mean you don’t have to cite all sources.

Yes, you need to cite it even the information is about dates.

Yes,  if you copy the source, you will need to use an in-text citation.

No, because the source is from your mother.

No, this is common knowledge.

No, direct quotes are not coming out from the source, nor is it being referenced.