The name Elias is a deviation of Elijah, a biblical name. My mother is very religious and the Spanish version of the Bible translates the name Elijah to Elias, the only prophet to go to heaven while still alive. I was supposed to be born with defects and so it stands more as a reminder of my mother’s faith in God, the reason she believes I was born a very healthy baby. despite its biblical roots, the name Elias is a very Spanish name, at least the way I pronounce it and spell it (with an accent) along with my last name which is a common Spanish surname (Gutierrez). That said, many muslims and middle easterners sometimes confuse me for being from the Middle East or speaking Arabic as it’s a common name in that part of the world as well. I have been embarrassed by my name only as a child as many have a hard time pronouncing it. I would let people pronounce it however was easiest for them until my junior year of high school when I realized it was my name and I decided what I wanted to be called. It was empowering. Even to this day, people can’t pronounce my name but I don’t let them off the hook, it’s my name and it’s special so no one is going to call me something I don’t want to be called. But I have many nicknames that my family and friends call me as well. I will let other call me those because I refuse to let them butcher my name. I can’t describe any more specific examples of being embarrassed by name as it happened so often as a child. My mom and her family spoke a lot of Spanish to my sister and I growing up. My dad, a chicano, spoke academic and “uneducated” English as well as street/urban talk. Additionally, we used chicano Spanish and English which are both dialects of their respective languages that intertwine with each other often. My father made it a point for my sister and I to be proficient readers and writers despite growing up poor and underserved. Many of the people around us were very uneducated but this wasn’t an excuse for us to not know academic English (or, as some I grew around put it, “talking white”).
