In Class Writing: Essay 2 Feedback Nov 15th

After reading the comments on my essay, I have found that I have a decent set up of my overall essay and okay examples to back up my claims though where I fall in concluding all of those together for the conclusion and using my own experiences and examples to back them up. This would have helped me tie the conclusion together which ultimately fell short and did not tie together both of my points. I also need to work on my apa citing the works cited which makes sense since I tried finding this on the site but found that it was tough to find and effected this part of the essay. Though I believe that my in quotations are fine and overall structure of the essay is fine.

Overall I believe that my essay is decent but could just use a better conclusion.

I can address these issues by going into modules and checking how to find the apa citation for the pages citied and fix that and then just tie together the conclusion.

In Class Writing: Nov 8th: SentenceCombining

Shirley, Joanne, Indira

1.) The reality show follows the lives of Bruce and Kris Jenner’s combined family [in which] most of the episodes focus on the three oldest daughters, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian.

2.) Bruce Jenner was famous for breaking the world record and winning a gold medal in the decathlon at the 1976 Olympics[;] [h]is sons from a previous marriage, Brandon and Brody, have also appeared on their own reality shows.

3,) The Kardashians’ father, the late attorney Robert Kardashian, was famous for representing O. J. Simpson, [whose] daughters gained recognition as American socialites.

4.) Kim came into the national spotlight in 2007 after a sex- tape scandal resulting [in a] Playboy appearance[, which then] the Kardashian fame grew into a profitable reality series.

5.) The show depicts the daily routine of the Kardashians [which] spin- off shows feature Kourtney, Kim, and Khloé’s attempts to build their line of fashion boutiques. 

6.) The Kardashians’ behavior at first seemed outrageous [however] they are a loving family.

7.) The Kardashians squabble like typical siblings [even though] Kris, the mother, holds the family together. 

8.) Kim’s $10 million wedding to pro basketball player Kris Humphries in 2011 was seen by an estimated 10.5 million viewers[, but] the marriage lasted only 72 days.

In Class Writing: Nov 1st

The structure of the online essay was vey compelling and thought out in terms of structure. I liked that it started off with some context or background of what was happening in that time and then a quote of the storyteller. Also having context to the background of the history and how that shaped his childhood and life at that time was extremely important in understanding what type of struggles and how that would overall shape his views in life later on. I also found that it kept me very engaged when reading because the overall narrative was long but having an engaging story helped a ton.

I saw that other people really liked that he told what his parents perspective were when they were younger and how that would shape how they saw education and raised their children. And again telling the background of the historical context really helped with this too and kept the story engaging.

It was great seeing what his life would amount to and how he came to the united states for a better education and how we know as the reader the amount of work that he had to do to accomplish this.

Oct 30th: Education

I see that a lot of people on the blog such as Huating and Raha agree with what Desiree said that is college is about becoming a well rounded student and ready to take on the workforce. One point that was hinted at but that is crucial in making sure that students feel satisfied with their education is taking a gap year or traveling before they start college. This I can attest for since I did a gap year program before I came to USF which is traditional learning. I can say that I am ready for the workforce and better prepared for obstacles now that I have ever been before seeing what other parts of the country is like. This could also help with understanding debt and leaving college debt free and not being behind on buying a house or car. For example when traveling you learn how to budget because you have too. For my internship I had a set amount for food, rent, and travels which I could not run out of. This helped me understand the value of money and what the real world is like more or less.

I have also seen that this is also based on the individuals experience and how hard they work in college is of course what they will get out of it. If people do not innovate and use all of the tools that they are paying for then this will of course drastically change how they view their college experience and how helpful it was.

In Class Writing: Oct 25 (Brainstorm on essay 3)

MIndy, Indira, Kevin

1.) Common interest is business/marketing (Majors:Advertising/Communications) Focus: Business/Creating Ideas

Combining our views on business and we can focus our majors to what our interests are.

  • Start with: What is advertising and communications major and marketing?
  • connected in the ways that they can be focused on business but are both broad majors. (add what type of jobs an advertising and communications major can have)
  • add examples of advertising companies. (find and add mission statements from organizations that incorporate advertising/communications-non-profits, eco-lodges ect)
  • Interview with major advisor or professors in field (voice over with moving shots of student working)

Upadated version:

Video Essay Outline:

Start with opening question of: Why did you choose communications?

        I choose communications because of the diversity of which focus the major provides you and the free range of creativity it creates. I am passionate about business and so I have been working with professors from other departments to help me create my business outline and talk through the ideas I have and make this a reality while also learning key skills for my future career. 

Overlay with shots of writing on a computer or talking to a group of people around campus and showcasing USF.   

        Another great aspect about communications is that you can focus on marketing, advertising, creative writing, really anything that has to do with showing communication through speaking, thinking and writing.

Then have advertising major say why they choose marketing and how that ties into communications major of the aspect of thinking critically and being creative in coming up with ideas.

Have the same with marketing communications and tie it to communications major and show how they all connect.

Then end with saying that with a communications degree anything is possible and career paths are out there for as long as you think critically and use the resources on campus.


In Class Writing: Oct 23 (Video Essay Reflection)

Video Essay Points:

I thought it was interesting when they talked about it working on paper but not on film. They said that she needed to shift her perspective in order for it to work on film and I find when I am story telling it can be tough to make this point on film since you must tell the main points and not waste peoples times. That by contrasting and comparing points you must use compelling visuals to tell this and assume that people don’t just know this. People also lose engagement very fast and so starting off with a still shot for 18 seconds as one student does can immediately put people off and therefore lose engagement. It would be better to have a film start in motion and then when focusing on the main character then stop or have stills. Since when writing it can be easy to intense detail and have to reader take the time to understand this but when filmmaking you assume that the people know what is going on and take in the bigger picture.

October 18th Reflection on Education

Indira Cockerill

Education in America is quite a bit of money for example, here at University of San Francisco the tuition itself is 45,000 dollars which makes the entire year 65,000 dollars. This is a lot considering that less than 30 years ago you could buy a house for that price. From where I came from in my home country I can say that education was not very prevalent. People were very poor and lived in the country sides and lived very simple lives though being in the United States I can say that education is way more valuable. Technically my adopted mother or mother received an education and graduated from college but never went on to receive a master degree which end up being a loss now. Now the standard is to receive a master degree at least and hopefully receive a doctorate or PhD, possibly even a couple. I have found that especially around here in the Bay Area education is very heavily pressed and very much important for a persons individual success and statues among others. People do care where you go to school and should in my opinion. The caliber of students being produced at less prestigious schools obviously means something.

I like the prestigious that some schools provide since it means that if you get in that you most likely worked hard for it and get to wear that rite of passage for the rest of your life. When looking people are looking to hire people in most fields such as STEM, or accounting and such people look at where you graduated from and do not care if you transferred from a community college.

I personally prefer a education with prestige and with unlimited resources and that carries a brand name. The reason being that I know what I could have been in my home country but now that I am here I know what I want to be. I took look towards the ivy leagues and other schools considered ivy leagues because the type of work and students that they are producing are extraordinary and not boring and ordinary and of course I like that. I will work for what I want and I want an education that backs that up and if not then I will still create what I want.


In Class Writing: Oct 18th

Indira, Kevin, Huating

Our group thought overall the college education is important so the individual can be informed and learn social skills and connections that will benefit in the real world. Education also helps with thinking critically and learn how to problem solve where in the real world the individual will be more prepared having a college education rather than just an base level of high school. Education is power since if we look at people who are in power in the country they are educated and have created their own legacies due to working hard and creating.

It also depends on the major that the individual has for example someone who majors in gender studies has less of a chance going into a successful field rather than someone who goes into business. Majors are useless unless someone knows what they want to do with that major and this applies to all people who are in college.

Though it can be debatable if the college is worth the cost these days. This also depends on what the individual wants to do with their degree. If they know what field they want to go in and this requires a college degree then this is of course beneficial though if they know they can be successful on their own without a college degree then the price of college can hurt them instead of being beneficial.


In class writing: Oct 2

An article that I might use is “That Word Black” by Hughes which emphasis on the fact that the word black is used in many phrases and popular sayings such as when referring to Halloween it is bad luck to have a black cat. That a black cat is bad luck and I have even heard friends say that they keep their cats inside due to this reason to make sure people to not sacrifice or kill their cat. Though he only states this in the context of the word being in context to being black. Though this is not true. If you do research a black cat in the United Kingdom this is considered good luck. So in the bigger picture I feel the word black is not properly being represented. It is being placed as in context to a person though in reality it has nothing to do with that. It can also be interpreted that in the dark or black of the night it is easier to get away with things and that you are unseen. Which I believe is why the word black has many contexts and do not really have to do with a persons color.

I do not have the book on me so I can not give quotes right now though I did give examples of situations in text.

In class writing: September 27th “Idioms”

Money Talks – in business terms if you want to get ahead of the line then you pay a little extra to whoever is in charge to have that privilege.

Kick the Bucket – An old man knew of treasure but kicked the bucket and took where he knew where the treasure was to the grave. Leaving others guessing where it was.

Looking daggers at someone – that someone is looking at someone with daggers in their eyes that they intent to mean business. In terms if someone is threatening someone else or someone intends to protect someone.

Back to the salt mines – In Siberia prisoners had to go deep underground to bring the salt back up. This now refers to going back to hard work labor.

A Flight of Fancy – This means if someone has a big imagination and comes up with new and big ideas.

I believe they have different meaning due to the fact of where their origins come from and how they have possibly transformed throughout American culture. Also how the individual forms the sentence which is important. They probably came from stories crafted throughout the years which have then been passed down from generation to generation. I like these because they spice up a conversation which also helps keep the person engaged in the conversation and is just plain fun and interesting to say.