November 30 In-class Writing

effective example of persuasive speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m3VMyvtiEo

In this video Evelyn talks about why it is important to drink more water. I thought she started off her speech very well because she automatically wanted her audience to be engaged by asking them to pinch the back of their hand. She also includes body gestures and isn’t stiff. One thing I would change is her delivery and energy. I feel like she could have been more enthusiastic but overall she provided a great example for me.

Argument Speech Outline: Black Women in Prison 

Introduction:

  • hook – “Black women in American prisons are suffering the most nationwide!”.
  • Thesis: Black women are suffering in American prisons because they have unequal employment in prison, earn less money from their prison jobs, and get sexually harassed. Maybe state solutions right after? (The only way to solve these issues is…)

Body: First talk about how they get treated unfairly when assigned prison jobs. Use University of Greenwhich research. Example of PBS News hour interviewing Andrea James. Explain how black women in prison get raped by prison guards.

Conclusion: These conditions completely wash away black women’s rehabilitation process.

Solutions: assigned random jobs, install cameras, make prison job equal pay.

Sources:

  1. https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/p16.pdf
  2. https://www.rt.com/uk/407173-bame-prisoners-discrimination-study/
  3. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/american-prisons-are-hell-for-women-theyre-even-worse
  4. https://www.vera.org/publications/overlooked-women-and-jails-report

Delivery techniques: 

  • Volume: make sure to sound pleasing while also being loud enough and clear. Also pronounce and ennunciate words and sentences.
  • Variety of tone: Make sure to sound enthusiastic and knowledgable. Use pauses
  • Eye contact: make eye contact to your audience/ camera.
  • Body movement: include body gestures with arms and upper body. Don’t be stiff and don’t fidget.

November 18

I had Henry in my group and in his first paragraph he basically summarizes the main point in the story which is his teacher telling him and the class he doesn’t have a dad then later feeling ashamed because he felt like the world heard her and felt bad for him. He then talks about the one part that stuck out to him the most which was when Richard thought the teacher liked him and made him feel important because she made him clean the blackboard every Friday. Henry then explains that Gregory’s is arguing that children hold onto things for a long time, for example Gregory he remembered the feeling for the rest of his life, therefore it is important to be kind and supportive towards children.

 

Historical Event: Bloody Sunday, 1965

I remember learning about “Bloody Sunday” or the historic march from Selma to Montgomery. It reminds me of what happened in the summer with all the BLM protests. This march was lead my Martin and other leaders in hope of speeding the oppurtunity for fairness, since the 1964 Civil Rights Act passed.

I thought that this could really relate today because of the protest that have been going on. In the selma march almost and mostly everyone came together and it was so powerful. People died and fought during this march. This is really similar to today. It is nice to know that people today are still passionate for basic human rights for everyone.

november 11 group work

Group: Katie and Sabrina

https://www.ted.com/talks/richard_st_john_8_secrets_of_success/up-next?language=en#t-25661

In this TED talk, Richard talks about 8 ways to be successful. He uses humor to explain his points, and this really helps the audience want to understand what he is trying to say. A huge part of this TED talk is how he had a PowerPoint to follow with it, which helped structure his argument. His visuals were really concise and easy to understand, these also contributed to how he used pauses and how effective they were. Overall his presentation was so concise and simple that it was hard for the audience to dismiss it, instead, it kept them interested and anticipated.

Ethos and Logos: Shared his personal experience

Logos: used a lot of reliable sources; talked to a lot of people for teh best evidence/proof such as Bill Gates

Pathos: humor

 

November 11

Group: Ryan and Katie

Ryan’s response was very good. He was different from mine because he used the Juliana Chang example, which basically focused on how your presentation needs to have a strong intro and conclusion, or else the audience will dismiss it. One similarity that we had was the second example he used which was why you need to use simpler syntax in your presentation as well.

Katie’s response was also amazing. She also used the Juliana Chang example like Ryan. Then same as me about including pauses in your presentation. Katie explains that pauses keep listeners engaged.

Oct 28

I had Amani and Ryan in my group. Both of them summarized the story and we all had the same end message, “to embrace all of your identity.” We each had different personal experiences. Ryan talked about his struggles with his identity as a person because he is not multiethnic, and Amani discussed how she would disagree with some of her cultural beliefs.

October 26

I read Emily’s post and I found hers to be very different from mine. In my post, I just talked about how many cultural differences and examples of cultural differences were included in the text. But Emily mentions how the article “helped put the struggles of others into perspective.” She then states how people from different cultures and ethnicities need to work harder to achieve better jobs, which is true. She then further explains how cultural barriers limit a lot of things, and that without these barriers there would be fewer struggles.

Free-Writing

Extra-Judicial Killings of African Americans. Needs to be stopped.

outline

Intro: There are lots of innocent people who are killed, but they are not random. It is required to take action when human rights are violated. However, the united states tend to disregard their obligation to prosecute law enforcement for extrajudicial killings. These extrajudicial killings are a disturbance of peace especially to the black community and  Urgent action is needed to stop extrajudicial executions and bring those responsible to face their consequences and faults. 

Thesis: African American citizens are getting killed by police and these extrajudicial killings need to be stopped.

Solution: improve training, provide full reparations to victims,

Examples: George Floyd, Rekia Boyd, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin

Statistics

Oct 14

I chose Lil Durk’s Instagram account. Lil Durk is a rapper/songwriter. Just by looking at his account, you can tell he is very successful. He has pictures of him with money and big chains, also 7.4 million followers. I don’t think this portrays ethos or credibility to who he really is as a person. Although he is open about his relationship, I think pictures cannot fully explain who he is in reality. I feel as though his songs tell a bigger story than his pictures on Instagram.

Instagram

 

Oct 19: Reading Response Analysis

Lillah summarized the reading and also mentions how visual grabs the attention of readers, supporting that idea with the flag example which was used in the reading. She also explains how she feels about this idea. My response is similar to hers because we both mentioned how photographs and visual designs are used today as well as how certain details and elements of the photograph contribute to an argument.

Jamye first mentions the flag example such as Lillah and explains how that is an example of visual rhetoric. SH further explains stirs up emotion. Our is actually very similar.

Sep 30 Essay 2

How the media and advertisement affect women

abortion

use pathos ethos and logos

find articles or sites for more evidence and back up the claim

rhetorical analysis directing evidence or claims that are already made. Put your input. do you agree or disagree make it clear

 

 

outline

intro: personal experience, thesis

body:  evidence, Although the beauty industry seems to empower women with their advertisements, they set a higher standard, negatively affecting the women emotionally and physically.

body: how/why  ads are so effective

body: How is this any good for women? evidence

I have to figure out how to only base this off of one article. It would be easier if it was more than one.

September 28: Coordinate and Subordinate

Ailin, Jelo

Exercise 1

  1. Pets are not allowed in Mr. Taylor’s building, but he owns several cats and a parrot.
  2. New legislation prevents drivers from sending or reading text messages while driving, yet many people continue to use their phones illegally.
  3. The coroner concluded that the young man had taken a lethal concoction of drugs, and by the time his relatives found him, nothing could be done.
  4. Amphibians are vertebrates that live on land and in the water; however, flatworms are invertebrates that live only in water.
  5. Ashley carefully fed and watered her tomato plants all summer, so the tomatoes grew juicy and ripe.
  6. When he lost his car key, Simon attempted to open the door with a wire hanger, a credit card, and a paper clip, then he called the manufacturer for advice.

Exercise 2

  1. Jake is going to Mexico because there are beautiful beaches in Mexico.
  2. A snowstorm disrupted traffic all over the east coast, where there will be long delivery delays this week.
  3. Since my neighbor had his television volume turned up too high, I banged on his door and asked him to keep the noise down.
  4. Jessica prepared the potato salad and the sautéed vegetables, while Ashley marinated the chicken.
  5. After Romeo poisons himself, Juliet awakes to find Romeo dead and stabs herself with a dagger.
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