After reading the graded version of essay 2, I noticed that there were several comments about APA citation. I was not careful enough to check the format according to the feedback. I believe that most of the references I found to support the primary article and its claim were well-used and highly reliable due to their credibility. Also, most importantly, I miss the part where I supposed to state which article I mainly analyzed. One thing I realized is that in essay 2’s feedback as well as essay 1’s, we did not get to receive detailed scores of where we lost points in a rubric form, so I am curious where I lost my points.
Month: April 2021
April 14th: Reading response analysis
I read a response from Zheyu, he gives a well-organized brief summary of the essay “Shared Experiences of Multiethnic Children in Stealing Buddha’s Dinner” stating what Paula wants to tell us in the first place. He also raised a real-life example from his own experience of attending a Christian school with an Asian background: the difficulty of adapting to the environment and being part of a class while getting treated cold.
April 12: Individual blog writing / Freewriting
I read Weihong’s response to Marilyn’s essay. He chose an example of a name of food, “phoenix web.” As he is the one who speaks Chinese, he explains the story behind this name from his own perspective by using his knowledge as a bilingual. I found that he and I kind of focused on a similar point about the towns in the neighborhood. Weihong raises this as an argument of this essay and this is a part of “political correct.”
I will be writing about whether people should consume less junk food or not. Since I am a huge fan of eating junk food, I was curious how that food affects our body and health. I already know that having too much junk food is an unhealthy habit and sometimes destroys or weakens our body.
- statistics showing how nutritious they are
- statistics of how often people eat them, etc.
April 7th: Individual writing and group discussion in breakout rooms/ Group work
One of my group members, Victoria, made a very thoughtful response to the reading of chapter 14 about visual rhetorics. In her response, she briefly summarizes the main purpose of the whole last part of the chapter in her own words while answering those requirements from the reading assignment. She also gives careful and details explanations on how she reacted to the examples of using visuals from the text.
On the other hand, another group member, Zoe, also provides a nicely organized response to the chapter by using other examples from Victoria as well as mine. She also gives a brief summary and explains in detail. Moreover, she uses a variety of vocabulary to avoid repetition and tries to combine more rhetorical terms. It is interesting that we all have picked very different examples from each other.
1.Excerpt from page 23 of an article in 2011 by William Ellis entitled “Culture in Transition.”World problems such as poverty, pollution, war, and hunger are inherent in the current system of world order based on nation–states and economic competition. They can be solved if people know and understand one another on a global, grass–roots basis. By developing people–to–people linkages irrespective of national borders, we can start to ameliorate global tensions and inequities. Student versions:Is this plagiarism or not? Y or N
Yes, because no quotation marks. – William Ellis asserts that world problems such as poverty, pollution, war, and hunger are inherent in the current system of world order based on nation–states and economic competition (p. 23).
Yes, because the intext citation is done incorrectly. – Global tensions and inequities can be solved if people begin to help one another on a grass–roots basis, moving beyond the current world order of economic competition (Ellis 23).
No, it gives the quotation marks and information about where it came from. – Ellis (2011) argues that global problems are often a result of exploitation inherent in economic competition. He contends that “grass roots….people–to people linkages irrespective of national borders” can do much to ease global tensions (p. 23).
No, there is an intext citation while summarizing the original text. – Economic competition is at the basis of many of the world’s problems (Ellis 23). Only by seeing ourselves as a single family without the separation of national boundaries can world tensions begin to be eased.
No, not copying the text and also gives intext citation. – Ellis (2011) argues that world problems are caused by overpopulation and that the only possible solution is an enforced tax on families who have more than one child (p. 23).
Original Text: Alaska’s wetlands provide many benefits including: food and habitat for wildlife, fish and shellfish species, natural products for human use and subsistence, shoreline erosion and sediment control, flood protection, and opportunities for recreation and esthetic appreciation.Hall, Jonathan V., W. E. Frayer, and Bill O. Wilen. Status of Alaska Wetlands.4 Nov. 1997. Web. 12 Mar. 2011.
Student Version: Alaskan wetlands offer advantages such as erosion and flood control, homes and food for wildlife, and natural beauty and products for humans’ benefit.
2.Original Text: Assertive individuals tend to feel more in control of their lives, derive more satisfactions from their relationships and achieve their goals more often. They also will obtain more respect from, and inspire confidence in, those with whom they interact since they tend to be viewed as strong characters who will not be easily swayed. Hargie, O., Saunders, C., & Dickson, D. (2000). Social Skills in Interpersonal Communication. London: Routledge, p. 271.
Student Version: Because they are not readily influenced, assertive people gain respect from others, and they experience success in guiding their own lives, nurturing good relationships, and achieving their goals (Hargie, Saunders, and Dickson, 2000, p. 271).
– This is not plagiarism since it summarized with the student’s own words while providing intext citation at the same time.
3.Original Text: A new to recycle bald tires has been developed by researchers at the University of Georgia Agricultural Experiment Station. Instead of hanging them on trees as swings, they’re using them as mulch around the base.“Tires Returnas Mulch.” Popular Mechanics94.2 (2000): 22. LEXIX–NEXIS. Web. 31 July 2011.
Student Version: A Popular Mechanics article notes that University of Georgia researchers have found a new use for worn tires: instead of having them on trees as swings, they’re using them as mulch (“Tires Return”).
– It is plagiarized because, in the last part of the sentence, there are no quotation marks although it is exactly the same wording as the original text.
Alex, Yanpu, and Kodai
April 5th: Reading response analysis/ Group Work/ Breakout room group work
From the response by Noga to the book chapter 14: Visual rhetorics, she carefully provides a brief summary of what visual arguments are for us and how they are made. Visual arguments could exist everywhere we live with several different forms of appearance such as pictures, videos, drawings, etc. to create more opportunities for the audiences to relieve messages. Noga also uses an example from both the text and real-life to strengthen her opinion of visual arguments. We kind of had similar thoughts to the effectiveness and convenience of these arguments that contain all of the rhetorical appeals (pathos, ethos, and logos).
Group-Siru, Kodai, Andrew
- My dog is not only friendly but also playful.
- We can go to the park or dance in the classroom.
- Jeremy likes to read historical, realistic, and speculative fiction.
- When I go to the bar, I want to dance, drink and punch on the rowdy faces.
- Buying a car is not a decision to take lightly nor carelessly.
- Tyler is for the legalization, not the criminalization of marijuana.
- Sally needs a new stove, a dishwasher, and knives for her kitchen.
- My first grade teacher taught me how to write, read, and play tic-tac-toe.
- She will not admit it, nor will she apologize.
- The whole wheat pasta is better than enriched wheat pasta.
- Literature classes teach students to analyze texts, think critically, and improve writing.
- Beets are just as nutrient rich as rutabagas even though they are not in season.
- Drunk drivers are thoughtlessly taking the lives of other people in their own hands,
risking their own lives, thinking only about their own pleasure and fun, and not considering the consequences of their actions.
- In order to convey the information correctly, the police officer spoke loudly to the crowd
, told people where they should stand, repeated the information to help people remember, and gesture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1E3Zu2DLtE
The video essay we choose is about the environment. It shows all kinds of beautiful senses on the earth at the beginning of the video. Then, suddenly turn to all the pandemic we are experiencing right now, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunami, and so on. Human behavior is the major reason that causes so many pandemics. In the video, humans throw tons of trash into the ocean, cut down too many trees, and so on. It shows that the humans living on the earth are destroying their home. The author makes an argument about humans should stop hurting Mother Earth because we are also hurting ourselves. The author is trying to persuade the audience that we have done too much damage to the earth, and we should protect the earth together.
Throughout the video essay, the use of pathos stood put the most. The essay contains a variety of pictures that evoke the audience’s mind to convince them that we need to take some actions to save the surrounding environment as well as animals. Those images the author used are very powerful and have so much depth behind which further explore the facts that people destroying our mother lands by themselves. By displaying those pictures with only necessary sentences with arguments, it brings the audiences to have an opportunity to create discussions whether the arguments are reliable or not. The author somewhat successfully persuades the audience by suggesting clear ideas of what they want to present with relevant images.
Liting, Yongkui, Kodai
March 31st: Reading Response / Individual writing /
I read a response by Chandler and he clearly gives the summary of what the chapter is about with his own words. He explains both the advantages and disadvantages of using social media while in the process of creating multimodal arguments. Unlike my response, he expresses more of his opinion when answering the effectiveness of the video. He also brings up a specific example from the text to further discuss his thoughts by connecting them with facts.
I chose a post from one of the most famous chefs, Gorden Ramsay who shows up on several TV series in the U.S. He is known for invective characteristics when he gives reviews to those chefs who are suffering from customer satisfaction. Sometimes, he literally tells that the meal tastes like garbage and everyone else in the place would be frozen for a second. Since then a lot of people think that he is such a verbally violent person while being a great chef with amazing skills and knowledge.
In his post about advertising a pizza restaurant that he will be opening on 4/12, he carefully provided some good things about going there to eat with a very short video of around 30 seconds. Since the video itself is really short, he chose only the important and interesting facts about the restaurant and simply stating what they are. When advertising, he is focusing on details that evoke our emotional parts such as saying there will be “the best street pizza” served at the restaurant. So we are curious how it tastes like and gives a passion to visit there. Also, he uses his iconic powerful and vulgar language as usual which emphasizes the relationship between him and this restaurant.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CNCXxBRjYEn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link