One year ago, I took a class that partnered with a local organization called the Faithful Fools whose mission is to accompany members of the Tenderloin neighborhood through conversation and the creation of art. One day while talking with Mary from the Faithful Fools, I was told something that changed the way I think of discernment and accompaniment. Mary said that a few years ago the Faithful Fools noticed a call from the community for them to build a more diverse staff. As a result, the Fools spent a long time in conversation, research, and reflection to understand the changes that were needed before carrying them out. I was surprised because at that time, I had hardly considered that changes in my own life or changes on a larger scale should be made with such a great level of thought.
My natural inclination is to solve problems as quickly as possible; but without knowing why a change is being made and how it ought to be made, naturally, one risks executing a flawed solution. Furthermore, I was struck by the particular way that the Fools discerned: using the powerful tool of accompaniment. Though some people excessively take care in making decisions or forming opinions, I believe that I and many of my peers fall on the other extreme—not being careful enough. I am the most struck by Mary’s story when I remember the need for discernment in debates that I have been in or observed. Sometimes in a debate, we speak carelessly and repeat a cliché we have heard without much meaning behind the words being said. Or perhaps we voice an opinion that our friend group holds because we heard them say it, or a line that people who agree with us have popularized online. I think that this carelessness, this lack of discernment, causes opinions to be recklessly formed and contributes to people feeling misunderstood.
I have a hard time finding understanding in discussions with people on subjects we disagree on. When I attended the Catholic Latin Mass for the first time, I realized that there exists a deep divide in the western Church in the way the Mass is celebrated, one way being more modern and the other being more traditional. I regularly discuss this issue with one of my professors, and he and I have a hard time getting on the same page as I favor the traditional Mass more than he does. Am I the one who is inordinately prioritizing tradition, which perhaps should be allowed to change, or is he the one who is allowing too many important traditions to be done away with? Where is the balance, and how can we know what is right? In these conversations, I feel unable to step out of my perspective and to understand his. This leaves me feeling misunderstood and that the truth is too complicated for me to discover.
To offer a lighter example, I tell people that I love the Star Wars prequels, and they think that I am joking. Then I argue that the prequel movies complete the story in such a way where we understand Darth Vader and learn to never abandon our morals. Usually, the other person has a hard time hearing me out, but I can empathize with that struggle because I react the same way when someone tells me that they love a movie that I do not like. In both of these cases, a dialogue is happening but there is a lack of the ability to understand another opinion that feels so distant from our own, leaving us exhausted and demoralized. I think that the issue is a lack of discernment, and I have hope because the Faithful Fools demonstrate that people are capable of thoughtful discernment; we just
have to learn from their model to carry it out.
The Faithful Fools’ discernment is powerful and healing because it is relational. The Fools live along-side members of their community as friends. They listen to each other not with judgment but with compassion. When the power of relationship is used in discernment, we can be moved by other people and use their points of view constructively.
Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit order, believed there is great power in discernment, in listening to one’s own emotions and longings to discover truth. In his Spiritual Exercises, on the subject of listening to others in the discernment process, Ignatius writes:
It should be presupposed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it. Further, if one cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If that meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; and if this is not enough, one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved. 1
Described as the Ignatian “presumption,” this perspective invites a good-faith reading of everything we are told as a way to acknowledge each person’s dignity and allow for fruitful discussion. This type of presumption helps us see what goodness can be found in a person’s opinion, and even if that person is wrong, it reminds us that it is still important to treat them in a loving manner. This way, decisions are not made unsympathetically and we do not turn people away for no reason. The Fools, with their emphasis on accompaniment, have these same characteristics of listening that Ignatius details. By listening to others in this way, truly hearing what is being said, we experience a change of heart and get closer to the truth.
This is what a hope-filled future is to me: that we will heal divisions by listening to and loving each other. I believe we should recognize we most likely will never stop learning, so we should take care to identify the ways we may be able to learn from others. Rather than immediately forming an opinion on an issue that presents itself, I hope for us to see those involved with love and to take those peoples’ opinions into account as we engage in thoughtful
discernment. I want others to know and feel empowered by the fact that the things they do and say matter. We must be sensitive to one another’s feelings and experiences, love each other, and take each interaction with one another seriously. Each time we speak to another person, we see a bit of their heart. We cannot hear somebody’s opinion and immediately excuse it as nonsense; we need to take time to listen so that we can know them and form an opinion that will probably be stronger than it would have been otherwise. We too often look at another person and, due to insecurity or other issues we are dealing with, judge what type of person they must be and therefore think that they probably have the wrong opinions and could never be a friend. This sets us up to not respect them and to not listen to what they will say.
We must listen and take great care before we speak. We must recognize each person’s dignity, listen with the assumption that they are well intentioned, and allow their words to enter our hearts. Using discernment grounded in relationships, we can get somewhere when making decisions like what type of church worship enhances spirituality or how a more diverse staff should be created. Members of the Faithful Fools give me hope that the future is one of conscientious openness.
CAMRYN HISSEN is a fourth year undergraduate student at USF studying biology with a minor philosophy. She
is also a member of the University’s Saint Ignatius Institute, a living-learning community that teaches courses in
philosophy and theology.
1. Ignatius of Loyola, edited by George E. Ganss, Ignatius of Loyola: Spiritual Exercises and Selected Works (Mahwah: Paulist Press,
1991), 129.
