Authorssoefeldt

Nov 8 – Essay 2 Feedback

In general I got positive feedback on my second essay, but there are also things I can improve in future rhetorical analyses.

My analysis of the image – an example of pathos, should be more detailed. I should tell how this image affect the readers directly, in stead of just pointing out that it is an example of pathos. I could have found a more specific example to show how this appeal affect the audience.

When I write about kairos, I should also have been a little more detailed. I should perhaps have mentioned how the editorial analyze and criticize opponent views.

A pattern I see is that I want to mention a lot of things in my assignment, but then some of the points doesn’t get explained in enough details. So I should be better at choosing fewer things to analyse, and then really analyse these in deep.

I understood all my feedback comments and will try to improve these patterns in future writing assignments.

Analysis of ethos

Stina Troest – danish runner.

https://www.instagram.com/stinatroest/

Her instagram page consist of a lot of running pictures. It is clear that she runs at a high level, because she has pictures from big competitions – like the olympics. Earlier her event was the 400 meter hurdles, but she has switch to run the 800 meter now. Her ethos is high in running contents because she is so fast.

She also have a lot of images where she is together with her boyfriend, friends or family. These images contribute to show that she values more than just running. She seems kind and carrying in these pictures, and this strengthen her overall ethos.

Video Essay Draft

Video Essay – Lille

 

 

 

30 Oct – Effective Presentations (Marco, Kris, Sophie)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEC1C4p0k3E

In this speech, John F Kennedy speaks load, clearly and with a lot of passion. He emphasizes key words which makes the audience aware of what he is talking about. He also repeats specific words, for example, in the first half of his speech, every paragraph starts with “to” or “to those”. This gives structure to the speech.

He looks up from his script, and this establish some kind of connection with the audience. He looks to both sides to connected with as many of the viewers as possible. This make the viewers stay engaged in what he is saying.

He could have used his body language more, but all in all his speech is effective.

 

 

 

 

28 Oct – In Class Writing

After reading Mandy’s response, I noticed that we both emphasized the importance of not translating a text directly into a video. This doesn’t work because it makes the video boring. To make a compelling video both sounds, images and words must interact and together express the idea.

I also read Angill’s response, and in the end she talks about how this video essay can help her finding her passion in the future. I hadn’t thought much about this aspect, but now I see that the essay can serve as a help or guidance for myself. I’m still undeclared, and therefore this essay hopefully can help me figure out if biology could be something I want to major in.

Features in multimodal compositions are that multiple types of communication must be used. This means that both sound, images/video and written text must be present and fit together.

 

Interview questions

  • What makes biology an interesting major?
  • What topics do students learn about?
  • How are the classes composed?
    • Lecture and lab
    • Chemistry, physics, math?
  • What can be done with a biology degree?
    • Future job possibilities

 

25 Oct – Verb Tense Exercise

Activity 1:

For a long time, my stepson, Jonathan, was unhappy to have me as part of his family, for he resented that he didn’t have both biological parents at home. I tried to get to know him better, but he complained that I invaded his privacy. As a newcomer, I understood that our relationship would require effort from both of us. It was not enough that I was friendly. Jonathan also had to want us to be friends, and I was not happy with the two of us being strangers, but I can wait for him to feel more comfortable around me.

Activity 2:

Anne Marie collects antique bottles and loves to turn them into works of art. She buys bottles if she like them, but she prefers to find them in the ground. She finds bottles everywhere, but she picks them selectively. However, she has the best luck at construction sites on old farmland, where she spends most of her time. Often, bottles appear on the surface after a good rain, but they disappear very soon. She uses special tools for excavating bottles, including a set of brushes. She does not want to break the bottles as she removes them from the ground. After finding a new bottle, Anne Marie adds it to her display case and hangs on the wall as an artistic piece (Mangelsdorf, 2013, p. 411).

23 Oct – Video Essay Outline

Major: Biology 

Introduction (45 sec.)

  • Studying biology on USF
    • Science centers
    • Equipment
    • Faculty
    • The city/area

Main (2 minutes)

  • Topics you will learn about
    • Genereal biology + more specific classes you chose
    • Chemistry
  • How will classes be?
    • Lecture + lab + field
    • Size of class

Ending (30 sec.)

  • Future job possibilities
  • Statistics about what people majoring in biology end up workning with

 

Interview

  • I will interview professor Sullivan from my genereal bio 105 lecture
  • I plan on incorporate the interview in the different part of the video

Images/videos

  • Harney science center
  • Lo Schiavo Science
  • Own photos and some from USF’s website

References

Crawley, J.L., and Pendarvis, M.P. (2018). Exploring Biology in the Laboratory, 3rd Edition. Englewood: Morton Publishing,

 

21 Oct – Discussion on Essay 3

A key feature of this assignment is that we need to edit sound. There must be at least 2 sound clips mixed rather than own voice. This can for example be music. Another key feature is that we must interview an expert from our major. This can be a professor, older student or another expert. Another key feature is the creating of an interesting video where all elements fit together.

Three requirements for this essay are that it must be between 3-4 minutes, we must use a program for editing such as Audacity or iMovie, and we must interview an expert.

16 Oct – In Class Writing (Parallel Structure)

  • My dog is not only friendly but also playful
    • Correct
  • We can go to the park or dancing in the classroom
    • Incorrect
    • Corrected: We can go to the park or dance in the classroom.
  • Jeremy likes to read historical, realistically and speculative fiction.
    • Incorrect
    • Jeremy like to read historical, realistical and speculative fiction.
  • When I went to the bar, I want to dance, drinking and punch on the rowdy faces.
    • Incorrect
    • When I went to the bar, I wanted to dance, drink and punch on the rowdy faces.
  • Buying a car is not a decision to take lightly nor be careless about.
    • Incorrect
    • Buying a car is not a decision to take lightly or carelessly.
  • Tyler is for the legalization, not criminalization of marijuana.
    • Correct
  • Sally needs a new stove, dishwasher and knives for her kitchen.
    • Incorrect
    • Sally needs a new stove, a dishwasher and a set of knives for her kitchen
  • My first grade teacher taught me how to write, how to read and play tic-tac-toe.
    • Incorrect
    • My first grade teacher taught me how to write, read and play tic-tac-toe.
  • She will not admit it, nor will she be apologizing.
    • Incorrect
    • She will not admit it, nor will she apologize.
  • The whole wheat pasta is better than enriched wheat pasta.
    • Incorrect
    • The whole wheat pasta is better than the enriched wheat pasta
  • Literature classes teach students to analyze texts, thinking critically, and improve writing.
    • Incorrect
    • Literature classes teach student to analyze texts, think critically, and improve writing
  • Beets are just as nutrient rich as rutabagas even though they are not in season.
    • Correct
  • Drunk drivers are thoughtlessly taking the lives of other people in their own hands, risk their own lives, thinking only about their own pleasure and fun, and not consider the consequences of their actions.
    • Incorrect
    • Drunk drivers are thoughtless taking the lives of other people in their own hands, risking their own lives, thinking only about their own pleasure and fun, and not considering the consequences of their actions.
  • In order to convey the information correctly, the police officer spoke loudly to the crowd, tell people where they should stand, repeated the information to help people remember, and gesture.
    • Incorrect
    • In order to convey the information correctly, the police officer spoke loudly to the crowd, told people where they should stand, repeated the information to help people remember and gestured

Oct 11 – In Class Writing

I chose to analyze the professional German runner Gesa Krause’s instagram page.

By looking at the profile with a lot of photos and comments, I got a good impression of who Gesa is. The first thing I noticed was that she is a steeplechaser from Germany. One of her most recent pictures, show that she won a bronze medal at the world championships in Doha a couple of weeks ago. This shows that she is a very good athlete who competes at the highest level, and this give her huge ethos in running contents.

She doesn’t only post pictures from races, but also from her everyday training life. The audience she what her workouts look like – like how much she runs in a day, which other exercises she does and how fast she runs at training. This works well, because it shows the audience that there is a “human” behind this succesful competitor. She allows the audience to see that some days running isn’t just fun, and that she also have bad workouts and also don’t love running all the time. This is nice to see, because on the television it can seem like the professional runners only have good days and love all about running all the time. She inspires other runners – both with her mindset and also with specific workouts. Her ethos is strengthen evenmore because we see her as a human too, and come to like her.

Beside running pictures, there is a lot of traveling pictures and food pictures. The traveling pictures show that she has a passion outside of running.

https://www.instagram.com/gesa_krause/

Oct 2 – In class writing

Danish

Der var engang en prins; han ville have sig en prinsesse, men det skulle være en rigtig prinsesse. Så rejste han hele verden rundt, for at finde sådan en, men alle vegne var der noget i vejen, prinsesser var der nok af, men om det var rigtige prinsesser, kunne han ikke ganske komme efter, altid var der noget, som ikke var så rigtigt.

English – Google translate

Once upon a time there was a prince; he wanted a princess, but it had to be a real princess. Then he traveled around the world to find one, but in every way something was wrong, there were plenty of princesses, but if it were real princesses he couldn’t quite come up, there was always something that wasn’t so true.

Comments

Most of the english in the translated version works, but there are still some “mistakes”.

An example is in line 2, where it says “in every way something was wrong”. This “in every way” could be correct in english, but it just doesn’t mean the exact same as in the danish version. A better translation could be something like: “but all the places he went to, something was wrong”, because “alle vegne” refers to the different places he travelled to find a princess.

Another mistake is in line 3, where it says “he couldn’t quite come up”. This is a very directly translation of the danish sentence, but this danish expression means something different than what it says directly, so it can’t just be directly translated. A better translation could be: “he couldn’t quite figure out”.

The last word “true” also seems like a wrong word for me. I would says something like: there was always something that didn’t seem right about them.

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