Have you ever felt uncomfortable in an environment? Have you ever doubted your ability to be successful based on the opinion of another individual?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, the image below may make sense to you. You have felt excluded, you have felt like your efforts simply weren’t enough, you have felt unkempt. I guess I am here to tell you that the picture of the leg on the left, does not have to look like the leg on the right. In recent literature this has been deemed a “growth mindset” in which these traits or characteristics (i.e., tattered shoes, worn out jeans, distress) are not fixed; they can be changed over time with the right tools and resources.
My greatest loss was the job I got right out of college. Wide-eyed and giddy, I worked endlessly without knowing that I was only contributing to the small hole on the tip of my own shoe. I was not equipped with the teacher toolbox I needed for the position I was in. I failed. And when I failed, I was not met with the grace and courtesy of “it’s okay, let’s help you get to where you need to be…” I was stripped of my sense of belonging in the community. A loss. This sadly led to a vicious cycle of feeling shunned by this community and overall stripped of all of the knowledge I thought I had about education. The principal of this school did not choose to meet me where I was at; she chose to push me out because I failed.
And now as an educator in a master’s program, I look back and hug my younger self for trying the impossible. I kiss the healing wounds of feeling that I was not strong enough to be an educator.
With a tall order of “GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER,” I began searching for answers about what my future career as an educator might look like. What I didn’t realize at the time was that being pushed out of one environment opened another door toward the grace and courtesy I was truly seeking.
Education can take you to incredible places, but you must be willing to reflect on your experience in order to move forward. In order to obtain meaningful success (that is, the approval of yourself). The shoe on the left foot doesn’t have to look like the shoe on the right foot; you can turn your rags to riches.
A visual depiction of the growth in my educational journey
Thank you for sharing what you went through, Erin. I am sorry you had to go through such a hard time but I believe it has truly made you stronger and without this experience you may not be where you are today. You will also be able to share this experience with education with your future students when they feel discouraged that they cannot do well in school. You will be able to show them that they can overcome anything just like you did. You can even show them the image above and explain to them that although they may feel to be in the “rags” stage of their education that it is possible to get to the “riches” stage and as their teacher you will help make that possible,
I can relate to your feeling of being pushed out of an education environment. Although, I decided to take myself out of the environment as I was not happy with it. Before I went to college to become an elementary school teacher, I worked as a teacher at a private preschool/daycare. I did not last long at this job because I hated how the owner of the school valued money over children. The director valued children over money but she was fired and I believe it was for that reason. I was really disappointed to see an environment that should be fostering education along with love and care for children was just chasing dollar signs. I figured a public elementary school would care more about children than money as parents did not pay for their students to be there, however, at the time, I had never wanted to nor did I think I was “smart enough” to go to school to become an elementary school teacher. So I worked at an in-home daycare after my job at the preschool until I realized I would be able to succeed in college. I liked what you said about talking to your younger self. My younger self NEVER would have believed that I would be in a master’s program today. It is crazy how life works out sometimes.
I am glad we were both able to learn from our past experiences and be together in this cohort now.
Wow Erin, your journey really is inspiring. I love your picture that you used of the two different legs and how you compared that to growth mindset. Sometimes we need to have losses in life to grow and really discover more about ourselves.
I am happy that you were able to find your master’s program and that you are able to reflect back on your experiences. We cannot always think about what we do not have, instead we need to take the opportunities that we do have and make sure they are positive ones.
You are truly an inspiring human being and you add so much to our cohort. Thank you for being you and for sharing your story.I know others will benefit from listening to your journey. You are going to make an outstanding teacher.